Same-Sex Sexuality & Christianity, part 4: Pastoral Care

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5. Should Christians Attend Same Sex Weddings?

This is a flashpoint for people and a very real difficulty for Christian family and friends. The tension here is between giving tacit endorsement and ruining a relationship.

Sam Allberry has some brief helpful thoughts in his book Is God Anti-Gay? (pp.85-86). He thinks there are good reasons why Christians might choose to accept or decline an invitation. There are two things that he suggests a Christian should want to preserve: 1. Witness. 2. Friendship. If your attendance or non-attendance will damage one of these, what might you need to do to preserve it?

Obviously things will be easier if your position on same sex marriage is understood before they send the wedding invitation out to you. In this case, what might an invitation mean?

  • Are they being antagonistic?
  • Were they too embarrassed not to invite you? They might have felt it easier to put the ball in your court.
  • They had to invite you because you’re family (etc)?
  • Perhaps they value you and want you to be there?

It is worth putting yourself in their shoes – if they know your feelings on the issue, what might be their feelings about inviting you? Perhaps it could be worth having a conversation with them and asking what it means to them.